A Motion for Peace: A Conversation with Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Joy...

#WaitNoMore

 
I'd like to add.....Adoption is just the beginning of the journey. It's a beautiful step of faith that leads to the rest of your lives! And Church, friends & family, there are going to be a lot of unexpecteds, so remember, those taking this step need your support in every way!

Psalm 68:6 "God sets the lonely in families."

Strong Enough

Matthew West

"Strong Enough"

You must
You must think I'm strong
To give me what I'm going through

Well, forgive me
Forgive me if I'm wrong
But this looks like more than I can do
On my own

I know I'm not strong enough to be
everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us

Well, maybe
Maybe that's the point
To reach the point of giving up

Cause when I'm finally
Finally at rock bottom
Well, that's when I start looking up
And reaching out

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

Cause I'm broken
Down to nothing
But I'm still holding on to the one thing
You are God
and you are strong
When I am weak

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough

It happened today....

I've known it would. 

I wasn't sure when or how, but it was certain to come. 

There were times I was nervous about it, wondering how to respond thoughtfully and truthfully. 

How would I be able to convey in a short reply, an answer the heart and mind of a 4 year old could grasp? 

How do I make sure it is always seen as a positive? 

A blessing for our family.

An answer to prayer. 

That God's beautiful, abundant GRACE brought her to us.

Yes, in a different way than some children are brought to their families....but just as miraculous!

My ears are keen for the word coming from her mouth. 

Adoption. 

Nothing to dread, but everything to celebrate.

Adoption. 

God's perfect plan in our lives being played out.

It happened today.

In an everyday moment, it happened.

Driving down the road, just she and one of her older sisters in the car with me.

Almost talking to herself.

"I love adopting, Mommy! That means you are mine!"

She asked for an image of what adopted means, and I was able to connect her to a movie she and her siblings enjoy watching that gave her a clear visual.

Then, as quickly as it happened, she had moved on to which flavor of ice cream she would have for treat. 

It's one of those moments you wish you could pause and replay again....slowly.....so you could soak every, single moment of it in.

How did she come up with that?

We talk about adoption openly in our home, but never really in a way that singles her out or puts such a "label" on her.

I've often wondered if she even understands since the conversations are often quick and un-detailed when they occur.

She has asked about growing in my tummy, and I've explained that all babies don't come to their families that way. But again....nothing too deep, as she always seems satisfied with the simple answers right now, and I've happily conceded to go at her pace.

But, it happened today.

And all on her own.

And whether she fully understand the weight of her words, I do.

And I receive them as a direct message from My Heavenly Father.

A message of pure love.

A whisper of peace and reassurance to my Mama's heart.

And, I am grateful.

True Peace

Dreaming

Dreaming. 

Dreaming is not a sign of discontentment, but rather, the indication that there is a desire to grow. 

Dare to dream.

Hello, My Name Is....

Matthew West - Hello, My Name Is (Lyrics) from matthew-west on GodTube.

Abiding

Abiding.

Permanent. Lasting. Constant. Enduring. Stable.

Reminders I regularly need of God's love for me, for I am weak and forgetful. I am doubtful even. But.... I am grateful. Grateful for mercy and grace that abounds. That is new every day. Every day I choose whether or not to accept it. It waits. He waits. Patiently. Longingly. Lovingly.

And He provides reminders that are like serenades to my heart, gently calling me to "COME.". To "TRUST.". To "REST.". 

Reminders like this from my beloved Streams in the Desert....

"The pressure of difficult times makes us value life. Every time our life is spared and given back to us after a trial, it is like a new beginning. We better understand its value and thereby apply ourselves more effectively for God and for humankind. And the pressure we endure helps us to understand the trials of others, equipping us to help them and to sympathize with them."

I am trying to soak this all in. 

Learning His way and will for my life. 

Slowly realizing that true joy, true love are not romantic and beautiful....at least as beauty is often interpreted. They have nothing to do with being happy, as most would imagine happiness. But instead......

.....true love......true joy are an abiding.....a breathtaking abiding that sometimes aches and yet cultivates a heart so full of gratitude that it can't be expressed.

Oh how blessed to have a Heavenly Father that loves us so. 

That loves me so.

That calls to my heart. That never gives up. That doesn't leave or forsake....or even have thoughts of such. I am weak, but HE is strong. 

< 3

Feeling like I'm living right in the midst of a "love lesson" right now.

Love the sweet reminder of this song in my oldest daughters and my favorite movie right now....it get's me every time!

Les Miserables - Finale from Phantom65 on Vimeo.

"To love another person is to see the face of God."

OUCH!!!!

"Cynicism is a unique trap. Cynicism is carnality that thinks it's smart." ~ Beth Moore

OUCH! is right!!!! 

That just bit me square in the center of my foster-mama behind!

I'm not sure that anything in my life has bred cynical reactions and attitudes for me like foster care. Cynicism has almost, at times, been my protection from looking foolish. 

Preventing me from feeling disappointed. 

Perhaps a numbing.

Ouch!

There again....reality bites!

The problem with this.....

It leaves no place for Hope.

No room for healing.

No opportunity for improvement.

And frankly, it's flat our arrogant. 

Yea, that one hurts sinking in too.

Hmmmm......

James 4:6

"But He gives more grace. Therefore it says, 'God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble'."

Life is full right now. 

Full of appointments, meetings, classes.....full of life.

This past week I attended a special training class for foster parents.

On the way there, alone in my car....which is a significant rarity....the quietness allowed my mind to begin to wander. 

Often when attending foster parenting classes, the experience can be very emotional. 

You have the opportunity to learn a lot. 

Some things you learn and hear are very helpful.

Some things you wish you never knew were a part of our world.

The anticipation of what to expect had my thoughts racing even a bit more than is normal. 

I began to feel anxiety creeping in.....slowly, but consuming, like the night. 

And instantly, I also felt the presence of God lean in and say "I'm here."

He knows me well enough to know that I need that reminder. 

Sadly, that is the case regardless of all the times he has proven himself faithful to me.

Mercifully, he still provides. 

His love is overwhelming.

Even puzzling at times.

As I waited for the class to begin, I walked about the nearby gift shop wasting time.

Then I saw the figure in the photograph above.

This tiny little boy carrying the message of HOPE. 

What strikes me most about the image is that he isn't carrying the message all balled up in a position of guarding or protecting. 

His posture shows no measure of doubt at all.

Completely vulnerable.

Outstretched arms that fully trust.

Believing.

Full of hope. 

Thank you Father for this beautiful, intentional reminder!

Stillness

The deer visited this week.

It's always a special moment when I get a glimpse of their camouflaged bodies making their way through our backyard. 

It's a reminder of my daddy. A reminder of how he loved watching deer. Yes, as a hunter, but even more as an admirer.

What I realized this week is that the deer are additionally a reminder to me to be still. To pause. To fully absorb, if even only for a moment, the moment in which I find myself. Observing their every inch. Soaking in each twitch of their tail and turn of their ear as if it were the very last time I would ever lay eyes on them.

Perhaps this was what they also provided for my daddy. 

Today, I wake with an even greater clarity of this need for stillness. 

Today, my heart aches for mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers, students, a community, a country, where everything changed in a moment.

I know this feeling personally.

I understand the thoughts that replay over and over and over in your head considering all the possible alternatives that might have allowed for a different outcome.
I know the questions being asked.
The chaos of emotions.
I know the physical ache that there is no remedy for.
The thoughts of how to move on.....how to even force that next breath.
I understand feelings of hopelessness.
And just when the darkness seems it will swallow all, there is a flicker.
A reminder of something more.
A light that will never go out.
Constant.
A Healer of all hurt.
A Redeemer of all broken.
True Justice. True Love. True Peace.
The One and Only cure for evil.
My Jesus.

And so, I pray.

Why Pray?

Romans 8:25-26 "But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."

Preserve FAMILY

I am so thankful to have had the chance to watch this.
So much thoughtful TRUTH.
So much genuine CARE.

Reminding each of us that a child's rights are far greater than just a good education and "safety".

Reminding, or possibly challenging us to think for the first time of an orphanage in a whole new way.....SHORT TERM. TEMPORARY. And most importantly, LAST RESORT.

Children in families....within their own communities when possible.
Just as it is here in the US.

Recognizing that rather than removing vulnerability, orphanages often intensify it.

There ARE other ways to help which are clearly outlined in the video.

May each and every one of us allow our good intentions to always preserve FAMILY.

Refresh & Be Refreshed

"He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed." Proverbs 11:25

A poem from Streams in the Desert...

"When all our hopes are gone,

It is best our hands keep toiling on

For other's sake:

For strength to bear is found in duty done;

And he is best indeed who learns to make

The joy of others cure his own heartache." 

"We are called upon to bury our sorrows not in restful inactivity but in active service." -George Matheson

Remembering,

Against all hope...

Romans 5:1-8

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. 

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Gratefully Hopeful, 

Hauling-Out

 The children have been learning about pinnipeds in science...and I have been learning just as much right along side them. Pinnipeds are a group of animals that include true seals, sea lions, fur seals and walruses. 

From Wikipedia

There are many interesting characteristics and mannerisms to explore with these animals. Because of their structure, abilities and environment, these types of animals face a unique obstacle when trying to get on land from the water. To do so independently is almost impossible. So, they have to work together, as a team, pushing and pulling as a group to work their heavy, awkward bodies onto the land. This is called hauling-out.

I don't image the act of this being especially graceful or even pretty to watch, but nonetheless, effective. Without this teamwork, many would die. Many would never be able to breed or give birth. They would fall prey to underwater predators, trapped and unable to defend themselves.

Sometimes, this is exactly how it is in a large family too. As we work together as a team, it may not be graceful, it may even be flat out ugly sometimes, but when we push, lean and pull each other up, we can reach our goal. And while the process may sometimes be painful, the prize is always sweet.

Hauling-Out, 

Blessed

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 

Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven.

Matthew 5:3-12

Blessed,  

 

Unexpected Blessings!

With the finalization of our long awaited adoption, I expected there to be many things to celebrate! But we have also experienced some unexpected blessings that I want to pause and be grateful for.

Filling out documents and where it requests "relationship to ____" being about to finally put MOTHER. :) Didn't expect that one to make me emotional, but it did! Signing as my sweet child's MOTHER was a confirming milestone that blessed my heart. 

Hearing my sweet child's name paired with our family's last name at a recent appointment....music to my ears!

Having her say "Mommy" to me as she does hundreds of times a day, but now without that tinge of ache and concern that used to instantly penetrate my heart. Before, when she called me mommy, knowing that was who I was, but also knowing I may not have the lifetime privilege would always cause that knot in my throat that couldn't be swallowed. Not any more!!! I pick her up and squeeze her and kiss her and tell her over and over how much I love her and how that is exactly who I am, her mommy!!! 

I am a blessed and grateful mommy!

"Easy" Adoption?

I've been kind of quiet around here for a while.

Sometimes that's because I don't have a lot to say....and then sometimes it's because I have too much to say. ;)

Trying to find the balance between abrasive and numbly passive can sometimes be a challenge for me. I'm typically a very passionate person about those things dear to my heart, but I've also learned much about my own lacking and need for grace, and therefore want to better extend grace to others as part of my passion. 

Graceful Passion....Passionate Grace.....is it even possible? They seem to somewhat contradict but yet are the perfect combination at the same time. Well, here is my feeble attempt at combining the two.

We recently had the unexpected privilege of adding to our family through adoption. How can adoption be "unexpected" you ask? Well, our journey began as a foster family, with the intent to help heal and reunify families. To play a part by providing a safe place for a child while their family received the help they needed to properly parent. We were naive, yes. But hopeful. Adoption, being something dear to our hearts, was always an open door, but not our sole motivation. As we stepped into the unknown, we were challenged and grown (continuing to grow!) from the beginning preparations and throughout the entire process that led to our adoption. It was not an easy process. But then again, neither was the pregnancy and birth of any of my biological children.

I find the idea that adoption should be easy, almost an insult. Definitely a thief of the joy. Working towards adoption, preparing for the "birth" of my child into my family, was part of the bonding. What made this precious child a part of me. A part of our family. Now don't get me wrong, our child came to us through the most challenging and heart-wrenching of circumstances.....there were moments of our almost 2 year journey that I was sure I wouldn't survive. Moments where I literally cried for deliverance. Again, just as with the physical birth of my children.

God continues to teach me so very much about myself and His plan for my life, and I am humbled and grateful that my children are a significant part of my learning. He speaks so clearly to me through each of them in different ways and different times and frankly, I can't imagine my life without the fullness that they are. I am blessed.

Easy adoption frightens me. Yes, frightens me....straight to my core. 

Being fortunate to have many friends closely connected to the care and service and even adoption of orphans from all around the globe, I am reminded that this is not something to take lightly, never pursue without careful consideration and most certainly not something to expect to be easy.

Easy adoption is not safe for the child.

Easy adoption creates opportunity for evil people to use something very special, meaningful and with pure intent to harm or even profit from others. By using children. Even abusing. By lying, stealing, even at times destroying families. One must approach adoption with not only hearts wide open, but also eyes.

Adopted children will always have different hurdles in life.

I don't say these are hindrances or that the children are limited in any way. Not at all. However, they will have to face the reality of adoption, which in itself can be bittersweet. They will most likely have questions that can at times, be difficult or even impossible to answer. Based on their past circumstances, they may also face other challenges that will require patience and understanding that will likely stretch you both.

But adoption....adoption is a beautiful thing.

It is so clearly of God.

His design to heal brokenness where is should not be.

His design to create beauty from ashes.

The image of His acceptance and pursuit of each of us....which I dare say is never easy.

And for that I praise Him!

And, I humbly thank Him for allowing me this not so easy privilege of being an adoptive mother.

Completely Undeserving,

 

 Ecclesiastes 3:11 "He has made everything beautiful in its time."

A Message of Mercy

When Jesus leads us into difficult places, He is promising to serve us there, allowing us the opportunity to fully rely on Him.

Deuteronomy 31:8 "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

 

When Jesus serves us, we exalt Him by serving others. 

1 Peter 4:10 "Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms."

Nothing is more clear to the world of Jesus' love than our love.

Matthew 5: 14-16 "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."

1 Corinthians 13:4-8,13 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delighted in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
 Love never fails. 

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

By His Mercy,