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Feeling like I'm living right in the midst of a "love lesson" right now.

Love the sweet reminder of this song in my oldest daughters and my favorite movie right now....it get's me every time!

Les Miserables - Finale from Phantom65 on Vimeo.

"To love another person is to see the face of God."

OUCH!!!!

"Cynicism is a unique trap. Cynicism is carnality that thinks it's smart." ~ Beth Moore

OUCH! is right!!!! 

That just bit me square in the center of my foster-mama behind!

I'm not sure that anything in my life has bred cynical reactions and attitudes for me like foster care. Cynicism has almost, at times, been my protection from looking foolish. 

Preventing me from feeling disappointed. 

Perhaps a numbing.

Ouch!

There again....reality bites!

The problem with this.....

It leaves no place for Hope.

No room for healing.

No opportunity for improvement.

And frankly, it's flat our arrogant. 

Yea, that one hurts sinking in too.

Hmmmm......

James 4:6

"But He gives more grace. Therefore it says, 'God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble'."

Life is full right now. 

Full of appointments, meetings, classes.....full of life.

This past week I attended a special training class for foster parents.

On the way there, alone in my car....which is a significant rarity....the quietness allowed my mind to begin to wander. 

Often when attending foster parenting classes, the experience can be very emotional. 

You have the opportunity to learn a lot. 

Some things you learn and hear are very helpful.

Some things you wish you never knew were a part of our world.

The anticipation of what to expect had my thoughts racing even a bit more than is normal. 

I began to feel anxiety creeping in.....slowly, but consuming, like the night. 

And instantly, I also felt the presence of God lean in and say "I'm here."

He knows me well enough to know that I need that reminder. 

Sadly, that is the case regardless of all the times he has proven himself faithful to me.

Mercifully, he still provides. 

His love is overwhelming.

Even puzzling at times.

As I waited for the class to begin, I walked about the nearby gift shop wasting time.

Then I saw the figure in the photograph above.

This tiny little boy carrying the message of HOPE. 

What strikes me most about the image is that he isn't carrying the message all balled up in a position of guarding or protecting. 

His posture shows no measure of doubt at all.

Completely vulnerable.

Outstretched arms that fully trust.

Believing.

Full of hope. 

Thank you Father for this beautiful, intentional reminder!

Stillness

The deer visited this week.

It's always a special moment when I get a glimpse of their camouflaged bodies making their way through our backyard. 

It's a reminder of my daddy. A reminder of how he loved watching deer. Yes, as a hunter, but even more as an admirer.

What I realized this week is that the deer are additionally a reminder to me to be still. To pause. To fully absorb, if even only for a moment, the moment in which I find myself. Observing their every inch. Soaking in each twitch of their tail and turn of their ear as if it were the very last time I would ever lay eyes on them.

Perhaps this was what they also provided for my daddy. 

Today, I wake with an even greater clarity of this need for stillness. 

Today, my heart aches for mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers, students, a community, a country, where everything changed in a moment.

I know this feeling personally.

I understand the thoughts that replay over and over and over in your head considering all the possible alternatives that might have allowed for a different outcome.
I know the questions being asked.
The chaos of emotions.
I know the physical ache that there is no remedy for.
The thoughts of how to move on.....how to even force that next breath.
I understand feelings of hopelessness.
And just when the darkness seems it will swallow all, there is a flicker.
A reminder of something more.
A light that will never go out.
Constant.
A Healer of all hurt.
A Redeemer of all broken.
True Justice. True Love. True Peace.
The One and Only cure for evil.
My Jesus.

And so, I pray.

Why Pray?

Romans 8:25-26 "But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."

Preserve FAMILY

I am so thankful to have had the chance to watch this.
So much thoughtful TRUTH.
So much genuine CARE.

Reminding each of us that a child's rights are far greater than just a good education and "safety".

Reminding, or possibly challenging us to think for the first time of an orphanage in a whole new way.....SHORT TERM. TEMPORARY. And most importantly, LAST RESORT.

Children in families....within their own communities when possible.
Just as it is here in the US.

Recognizing that rather than removing vulnerability, orphanages often intensify it.

There ARE other ways to help which are clearly outlined in the video.

May each and every one of us allow our good intentions to always preserve FAMILY.

Refresh & Be Refreshed

"He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed." Proverbs 11:25

A poem from Streams in the Desert...

"When all our hopes are gone,

It is best our hands keep toiling on

For other's sake:

For strength to bear is found in duty done;

And he is best indeed who learns to make

The joy of others cure his own heartache." 

"We are called upon to bury our sorrows not in restful inactivity but in active service." -George Matheson

Remembering,

Against all hope...

Romans 5:1-8

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. 

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Gratefully Hopeful,