Thursday, June 28, 2012


Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 
Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven.
Matthew 5:3-12


Saturday, June 9, 2012

Unexpected Blessings!

With the finalization of our long awaited adoption, I expected there to be many things to celebrate! But we have also experienced some unexpected blessings that I want to pause and be grateful for.

Filling out documents and where it requests "relationship to ____" being about to finally put MOTHER. :) Didn't expect that one to make me emotional, but it did! Signing as my sweet child's MOTHER was a confirming milestone that blessed my heart. 

Hearing my sweet child's name paired with our family's last name at a recent to my ears!

Having her say "Mommy" to me as she does hundreds of times a day, but now without that tinge of ache and concern that used to instantly penetrate my heart. Before, when she called me mommy, knowing that was who I was, but also knowing I may not have the lifetime privilege would always cause that knot in my throat that couldn't be swallowed. Not any more!!! I pick her up and squeeze her and kiss her and tell her over and over how much I love her and how that is exactly who I am, her mommy!!! 
I am a blessed and grateful mommy!

Monday, June 4, 2012

"Easy" Adoption?

I've been kind of quiet around here for a while.
Sometimes that's because I don't have a lot to say....and then sometimes it's because I have too much to say. ;)

Trying to find the balance between abrasive and numbly passive can sometimes be a challenge for me. I'm typically a very passionate person about those things dear to my heart, but I've also learned much about my own lacking and need for grace, and therefore want to better extend grace to others as part of my passion. 

Graceful Passion....Passionate it even possible? They seem to somewhat contradict but yet are the perfect combination at the same time. Well, here is my feeble attempt at combining the two.

We recently had the unexpected privilege of adding to our family through adoption. How can adoption be "unexpected" you ask? Well, our journey began as a foster family, with the intent to help heal and reunify families. To play a part by providing a safe place for a child while their family received the help they needed to properly parent. We were naive, yes. But hopeful. Adoption, being something dear to our hearts, was always an open door, but not our sole motivation. As we stepped into the unknown, we were challenged and grown (continuing to grow!) from the beginning preparations and throughout the entire process that led to our adoption. It was not an easy process. But then again, neither was the pregnancy and birth of any of my biological children.

I find the idea that adoption should be easy, almost an insult. Definitely a thief of the joy. Working towards adoption, preparing for the "birth" of my child into my family, was part of the bonding. What made this precious child a part of me. A part of our family. Now don't get me wrong, our child came to us through the most challenging and heart-wrenching of circumstances.....there were moments of our almost 2 year journey that I was sure I wouldn't survive. Moments where I literally cried for deliverance. Again, just as with the physical birth of my children.

God continues to teach me so very much about myself and His plan for my life, and I am humbled and grateful that my children are a significant part of my learning. He speaks so clearly to me through each of them in different ways and different times and frankly, I can't imagine my life without the fullness that they are. I am blessed.

Easy adoption frightens me. Yes, frightens me....straight to my core. 
Being fortunate to have many friends closely connected to the care and service and even adoption of orphans from all around the globe, I am reminded that this is not something to take lightly, never pursue without careful consideration and most certainly not something to expect to be easy.

Easy adoption is not safe for the child.
Easy adoption creates opportunity for evil people to use something very special, meaningful and with pure intent to harm or even profit from others. By using children. Even abusing. By lying, stealing, even at times destroying families. One must approach adoption with not only hearts wide open, but also eyes.

Adopted children will always have different hurdles in life.
I don't say these are hindrances or that the children are limited in any way. Not at all. However, they will have to face the reality of adoption, which in itself can be bittersweet. They will most likely have questions that can at times, be difficult or even impossible to answer. Based on their past circumstances, they may also face other challenges that will require patience and understanding that will likely stretch you both.

But adoption....adoption is a beautiful thing.
It is so clearly of God.
His design to heal brokenness where is should not be.
His design to create beauty from ashes.
The image of His acceptance and pursuit of each of us....which I dare say is never easy.
And for that I praise Him!
And, I humbly thank Him for allowing me this not so easy privilege of being an adoptive mother.

Completely Undeserving,
 Ecclesiastes 3:11 "He has made everything beautiful in its time."