Thursday, May 12, 2011

A Waiting Life

I'm not a patient person. Let's just get it out there. Surprise for those who know me I'm sure! ;) But patience, in general, does not come naturally for me. I'm a planner. A get-it-donner. I pride myself on efficiency, whether it be making the most of my errand time by hitting all the necessary spots in one trip....even if an unscheduled trip or whether it be having the flow of my day operate smoothly and having lots to show accomplished at the end. Therefore, waiting....waiting just doesn't make sense. It doesn't fit into an "efficient" plan. At least for me. God on the other hand doesn't seem so worried with efficiency. Nope. That one doesn't seem to be at the top of the list or even on His radar for the most part. Instead, He knows exactly the time that is needed in advance for all things to be accomplished according to His will. He has no problem allowing time to pass, seemingly wasted, since He knows that often, the delays of life are as crucial to my growth and fulfillment as His direct answers to my prayers. I am so overwhelmingly thankful that He knows me so well!
I read this in my most favorite devotional, Streams in the Desert, today...
"No amount of persecution will try you as much as experiences like these - ones in which you are required to wait on God."
While I and my family have most definitely seen our share of trials, I must admit the absolute truth of this statement. While I do not like waiting, not even a little bit, I am thankful for the continued growth it brings. In this time, He has given me the opportunity to marvel at His ways and process His work in me. Oh for His patience with me! What a blessing! He knows me fully and yet hasn't given up on me, regardless of how slow the process of my growth at times. Praise You Father for your amazing love!

Years ago, as a young mother, when I read the verse Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God" I can remember thinking "HOW? How can one do that? I'm not a "still" person! I wish I knew how to be. I know this is what God wants of me, but how?". Well, little did I know that He was listening, and heard the silent prayer from within me that my lips didn't even know how to pray. He is teaching me. And slowly, I am learning.

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