I'm realizing that I've really become quite good at rationalizing it all too. Even convincing myself at times that I'm really not trying to take control of a particular situation, but rather just creating order....after all, order is a good thing. But when I start this rationalization, I have to check my heart. And thankfully my God is patient and gracious and continues to tenderly teach me the lesson of letting go. Reality is, I DON'T HAVE CONTROL, HE DOES. And that is the absolute perfect and safest place for all control to reside, in His mighty, capable, all-knowing and loving hands. This doesn't mean that I don't have a job, a purpose, or a responsibility....He has entrusted many, many things to me that I am indeed accountable for. What it does mean is stopping all my anxiousness. When I spend time with Him, talking with Him about the desires of my heart, asking Him to reveal His plan and purpose for me, even giving Him little hints as to what I would like best, (as if He didn't already know!) I should rest peacefully, fully trusting that in His time, He will make His will for me known so clearly that I have not a single doubt. And when He does, I should welcome it with obedience and excitement, acknowledging that the God of the Universe is lovingly allowing me to be an active part of His eternal plan. What more could I ask for???
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
Ephesians 3:20 To Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work in us, to Him be glory for ever and ever!