The impact of all the talking that goes on in our home as a foster family is something I have become more and more aware of recently. Whether it be my husband and I mulling over the "What Ifs" and preparations or our children simply witnessing our prayers, they are listening. When the case managers visit and discuss the court dates and legal aspects, they are listening. When friends and family ask questions, they are listening. When there is contact with birth parents, they are listening. Additionally, they are watching. Every. Single. Move. Every reaction. And taking in every word.
This my friends, is a heavy, heavy weight. My children are learning of things that I would have chosen to wait until they were much older to discuss with them. Things that make them sad. Things that make them angry. Things that hurt and that there is no explanation, no understanding for. Some of this is just part of the territory. BUT....... it is still my job to protect each of them from too much of any of the above. To guard their tender ears and their tender hearts. To nurture their desire for justice and to guide their misunderstandings to the feet of Our Heavenly Father who holds it all in his hands.
It is important to have those that we can openly share with, and it is important that my husband and I openly discuss the steps of our journey. It is important that we openly discuss this with our children. However, my husband and I have just been talking about how we must be more attentive to what we discuss in their presence. And then today, I read this article that reminded me even further of the importance of discretion for our family. Short term and long term. I am thankful for these reminders. There is no doubt I have failed in this area, but I believe I am being offered a chance to reevaluate and protect in a new way. I intend to make best of this second chance.